Shrek!
Shrek is my new favourite expletive. It looks like "shit" and "dreck" and has a pleasing Anglo-Saxon harshness to it that conveys both mirth and profound irritation. It's also a very funny book by William Steig. The creature who gives the book its title looks just like what a Shrek ought to look like. Want to incorporate shrek into your life? Here's some handy usage tips:

Usage 1:
Sophie: [tripping over a pile of laundry] Aaah! Shrek!
Mom: What's wrong?
Sophie: I didn't see this shreking pile of laundry, and it made me fall on my tush! Owie!

Usage 2:
Sophie: [speaking to the new & improved, but still slightly evil kitty of my friends] Boog, please don't shrek up my sweater with your claws. I just fixed all the pulls you created from the last time you tried to eat my arm.

People of the World, Shrek Up Your Life!
Thursday, January 4, 2001 10:24 a.m.

Year-End Wrap Up

I'm stealing shamelessly from Matt's fine idea for this entry.
January: I move back to my ancestral home, ending my swingin' Center City bachelorette days and commencing my not-quite-as-swingin' South Jersey bachelorette days.
February: My job dissatisfaction reaches an all-time high and I apply to graduate school.
March: My parents and I drive to Charlottesville, VA so I can have an operation to remove a benign tumor from my pituitary gland. The operation is a stunning success, rescuing me from a serious endocrine disease and relieving three years' worth of painful headaches.
April: I have the entire month off for recovery from my surgery. I sleep in, take walks, read books, play with my friends, and in general feel better than I have in years.
May: I return to work. It's not so bad. I decide to go to the University of Toronto.
June: I turn 25. I confess to my boss that I'll be leaving at the end of the summer. She helps me get a nice raise, anyway. Yay, nice boss!
July: kerplink is born, providing justification for my countless hours of on-the-job websurfing.
August: Pre-move panic begins to set in, almost simultaneously with pre-leaving job elation.
September: I move to Toronto. I consider becoming Canadian. It's that good.
October: Giddily anticipate visit from The World's Loveliest Boy. Cook, with housemates, delicious Canadian Thanksgiving dinner. Do some schoolwork. Discover, to my horror, that I love cataloguing.
November: Enjoy visit with sister #1: The Printmaker. Miss family. Miss friends. Miss TWLB. Spend Thanksgiving Day writing paper for cataloguing class.
December: End-of-term Madness. Visit TWLB. Go home for two weeks. Love family. Love friends. Love everyone.
Thursday, January 4, 2001 10:07 a.m.

That Alastair Cooke Sure Can Write
I had no idea that Alastair Cooke, Mr. Masterpiece Theatre himself, has been writing and broadcasting a weekly Letter From America every week since 1946. This is my favourite find of late 2000. I can see that I will be spending far too much time poring through these archives in the months to come.
Tuesday, January 2, 2001 09:32 a.m.

Meritocrat or Valuecrat?
Interesting NYT piece suggesting that the ideological split in the US is not so much between liberals & conservatives but between meritocrats & valuecrats. Meaning, between those who believe that hard work, intelligence, and achievement should be the basis of leadership and those who "believe that a certain moral framework is a necessary predicate to all good behavior." In otherwords, good works vs. state of grace. Ah, our Puritan heritage comes back to bite us on the collective ass once more. And this time, it really doesn't hurt so good, does it?
Tuesday, January 2, 2001 09:27 a.m.

Teatime With Eloise
One of my best Chanukkah presents this year was a deck of cards featuring everyone's favourite high-class hellion, Eloise, manufactured by the itsy bitsy entertainment company. The company website is adorable, as expected, and includes a slew of recipes for an Eloise-themed teatime. The Very Very Very Cranberry Tea & Nanny's Not-To-Be-Missed Nut Bread sound especially promising. (If you are not familiar with the pure genius of Eloise, read this. Then go read Eloise as soon as everly you can. Because it is hilarious and is a book for precocious adults and will do your grumpy self quite a bit of good.)
Wednesday, December 27, 2000 06:20 p.m.

Freaky Trigger Pop Music Focus Group #3
Tom, the big kahuna over at NYLPM, invited a bunch of folks (including your humble editrix) to talk shit about music released during the Summer & Fall of 2000. In short, big fun. Go read, chuckle over, and get mad at the results right away!
Wednesday, December 27, 2000 06:18 p.m.

Van Go-Go-Gogh!

So my first full day back on American soil, my family goes to the Philadelphia Art Museum to see the fabulous Van Gogh Face to Face exhibit. It was indeed a thing of loveliness, and I was bowled over with the news that Vincent was totally self-taught. I had no idea. So after an hour or so of sighing and exclaiming and swooning over his sad, tragic genius, I made a dash for the exhibit shop to drop exorbitant sums on postcards to send to all my friends. The exhibit boutique was much larger than usual, and included all the usual stuff - Van Gogh ties featuring the faces of some of Vincent's models, posters, calendars, umbrellas, notecards, blah bling blah. The boutique also included, in the far corner, on a raised platform, a suite of bedroom furniture for sale. This was not just any bedroom furniture, but a bedroom suite constructed and then arranged to look exactly like the one in this painting. The only item for sale for less than $1000 was the coatrack, modestly priced at $150. Ew.
Wednesday, December 27, 2000 06:10 p.m.